==================================================================================================================================================== ==================================================================================================================================================== ====Dedicated to the things that have been said in one's life that are so insane that you just have to write them down and quote them somewhere:==== ====Last Updated On: 12/31/2016======================================================================================================================= ==================================================================================================================================================== ==================================================================================================================================================== -PORKCHOP SANDWICHES! -u not cookin! -u done runnin! -comb your beard, i dont wanna hear that shit -YOURE DONE, YOURE FINISHED! -SWOLE -swolestomped -star cocaine -but it aint what you want -witchaditcha -doyoudo -COMB YOUR BEARD SIR! -your beard has been combed so much, you might as well straighten it -*slam door* NICK!! *slam door* NICKKKK!! (repeat for 30 minutes) -you shoulda used the down B -want to make an insurance deal? -this makes me want to kill someone....in real life -thats so fetch -its an all nighter -toss my cap! -you can stand under my umbrella! -youve been marthed! -he wants the poonch! -i want to hold you...like a little baby -i fuckin tossed that red shell......i fuckin tossed that salad -that mac just made me throw up EVERYWHERE -that shits a dodge -GAAWWWWDDDDD DAMNITTTT! -WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?!? -My beverage does indeed include a degree of ethanol within -Oh, how convenient (grabs free parking) -It was a three way deal and i just got fucking SHAFTED again -NINE G! -The Billy Mayes Dollar! -There is some 24 hour scrotum rotting occurring -It looks like a vagina eating itself...you gotta pay to see stuff like that -My scrotum is like candle wax, it gets real hot and sweaty then the drippings harden -Thats 22 dollhairs. I want you to go find a doll, pluck out 22 hairs, and then pay me. -Round 1...tyler 1, shit 0. FATALITY! -I feel a beijing bomb coming on (Eric starts running) -MARGHARETTI!! (ganondorf punch lands) -Tyler:"My dad has like 300 poles." Gio: "No, he has 63 poles!" -(cencus form)Do you live or stay in this facility MOST OF THE TIME? Yes...MOST OF THE TIME!!(loud yell) -They put alaskan eskimo, chamorro and asian indian on the race list, but not italian. WTF?!?!? racist. -On a scale of 1 to 10, im drunk -My name is Ty and i want K, but i cant, so i choose C. and then, I GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!!! -I feel a hot sauce sandwich coming on -U not car share -If i have to sit in the middle, there will be some cross country skiing occurring -It was so bad its like someone took a poo, and then that poo took another poo -Dont let me go drinking after eating these biscuits because i dont want to defile them by throwing them up -BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE DUAL-SAW. HELPING YOU CUT DOWN SIGNPOSTS TO STEAL BICYCLES EVERYWHERE -This is a "Pending" session, its a score of -4 to -1. -Giovanni is the sage of wisdom. -(Tyler sings shitty country song) Homegrown hicks. -Turn that shit auf. Say hose. hose. Say off. Auf. -I smell steak; my penis is erect. -It's a past full past all-nighter -(Nick with light blue with 2 houses) 90 dollars! Me- I think I paid more than that to each player last round. -I think theres a 50 floating around here somewhere. -Thats like calling me Jon Gotti's son, I dont really care. -Hit a lil shot into center, hit it like a 9 iron! -Dont you HIT my son! -HEY! Now look over here. -If they aint gonna cover first, steal second (runners on first and second) -You're not gay enough for this -It smelled like ass a second ago, but now it smells like grill. (Tyler) Grilled ass! -I made it back alive, I think I know JMU's campus better than VT's. -Last one there is a penis pump! -Just fuckin roll in a howlitzer and point it at the screen. -If someone had no arms, no legs, and no face and moved by cartwheeling on stubs, I doubt ANYONE would find them attractive. -El castillo de Bowser TRES!!! -Its not a saucepan, its a fucking pot! -NEVER eat skyr! It tastes like lemonade shaving cream styrofoam. -A 3 KILOGRAM particle?! WTF?! I fee like if an electron the size of a fucking bowling ball barreled into me, I would die. -He fucking sprayed formaldehyde on the wound from a squirt bottle. -Join the Shaftee Rebellion. -Taking the big piece when offered free food is like a hobo in New York City walking into a soup kitchen and asking for the WHOLE POT OF SOUP! -Tyler's computer translates binary to satanic whenever you say "know it" and play slow chemical. -I thought I rolled a 15 -Pick one and divide it by 2. Now pick another one. Lowest one wins it all! -Anything past a past full past will hereby be known as a NICKNIGHTER -YESSS, there is some incomplete recurring shaft occurring -Hey hunter.....SHAFTBACK! -Shaftback 2: Return of the Shaft -The Great Wall was so huge and expansive it was like a game of FillIt. The Great Wall has evolved to The Labyrinth! -The Great Wall is more powerful than ever. Its now a CASTLE WALL! 15 castles. FUCK YOU ANDRE! -If you fill this coke bottle 5 feet above the tip of the bottle full of wate, it would be a coke sword...a water sword! -YESSSSS WERE WINNING! WERE FUCKING WINNING! -Are you speaking English? or Mitchel? -Whats the integral of 2x^2. X....OH WAIT...FUCK......your drunk! -Lets hurry up and attack so we can go to bed. Fighting for early bedtimes! -I was fucking up the units before you even got there. NUKE! -Red Alert 2 is the greatest game of all time. HOW THE FUCK DO WE BUILD?!!? IS THERE A MAP?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!? PORKCHOP SANDWICHES. Mitchel....WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST GIVE ME?!? IS THIS A LIGHTNING STORM? WTF IT JUST RAPED ME! -*O'Shag fire drill sounds" OHHHHHH YESSSSS! PORKCHOP SANDWICHES! OH SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! -Monopori -Someone on this hall must have tourettes because Im walking down the hall and all I hear is: FUCK! SHIT!! -Bring 20 grand cash and a dildo and I'll put it in my ass.-TYLER -THATS A 50 DKP MINUS! -Norton sucks, let's make AintWhatchaWont Antivirus! -If you're drunk in 3 dimensions, you lose the 3rd dimension's new addition: depth. If you can see in 4 dimensions and you're drunk, then you wont look drunk because youll only lose time but still have depth! -Taste a strawberry, they're basically a shot each. Alcohol flavored strawberries! -If someone just starts downing fruit, stop them! They'll die! -Mitchel -*Mitchel fires paintball gun at moth* HOLY SHIT, I swear my finger flew off for a second there! -Gio -GOD DAMNIT TYLER!! Matt found us! We did such a good job of hiding until now too! Fuck, the great wall has fallen! DONE FINISHED! -*Gio yelling at drunk girl sprinting in front of bus stop* "RUN FORREST RUN!!!" "You're an asshole!" -*Draws card* "What's three?" "Me" "Just you....and Matt" -King Tut: HE SLEEPS! -Rigatoni are like boners!!! -Today, the 15 MOLAR AMMONIA was shown down. HOLY SHIT 19 MOLAR HYDROCHLORIC ACID!!! -I don't like making big decisions! -Dude, the pootstall is broken! -I want you to go home and in the quiet of the night, make love to your calculus book! -Z-MAN! -Gio, to prove you aren't drunk I want you to remember the number 532. *Tomorrow morning* "532 BITCH!" -Strollberry. Strallberry! -*Mr. Game and watch gets smash ball on pirate ship* "OMFG GUYS, ITS THE KRAKEN, RUN!" -*Gio and I took a nap at the same time and he woke up two hours later* "Andres we are not allowed to sleep together anymore." -Hey Gio, how much for Luigi? NINE G! What about Wario? NINE!!!!! G!!!!! -HERMADIGER! -Nolan woke up so late last year that he has his own time zone. NOLAN STANDARD TIME!!!! NST!!!! -"Thats like fucking a fat chick. Which I might do. Because I'm drunk" - Gio -Nonspreadable butter? No. BUCKET OF BUTTER! -If I can still do Calculus, I'm not drunk. -*Franlkin* Friends don't let friends drink and derive. YESSSSS! -*Andres* No, Gio, thats like kicking a guy in the balls and then he goes blind. -*Andres* NO! NO! IF YOU PLAY SONA I SWEAR ILL BE ANNIE! *Gio* AND ILL BE SINGED! *Matt* OH SHIT, never mind! *Andres* That sounds like THE WORST team ever. -Longest Skype Conversation Ever- LoLing and bullshitting: 5 hours 49 minutes 49 seconds! -If a triangle has 3 sides, and a circle has no sides, what is a 2-sided polygon? "A WHORE!" -Then what the fuck does a 3 dimensional whore look like? "YOUR MOM!" -Gio's insane cooking: hot sauce sandwich, chip sandwich, salami sandwich, chicken tender plate, alcohol loaf -"the answer is obvious, just do poovnert on the redufing agent"-Jimmy -Brb andre salad -Brb william eating -Brb chromagg explanation -NURSE PILOT -IS YOUR PROCESSOR MADE OUT OF LEGOS?!?! -I'm switching majors to packaging -HAVE YOU SMELLED MY BANANA!?!!? -the only thing longer than ctrl a copy paste twitter is VIEW SOURCE CONTROL A COPY PASTE TWITTER [2:59:27 AM] Andres Rothe: she was just crazy good [2:59:44 AM] Andres Rothe: ill need a leash -"DUDE THAT WAS A REALLY GOOD JIZZ ANDRE"-Will, "And I don't think youll ever hear someone say that EVER AGAIN in your ENTIRE LIFE! EVER!!!"-Gio -"do you dream in spanish?" "yeah, but i put on closed captions" -THE TRIPLE SPIKE!!! THE CLIFF!! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!! -YOU TRYNA BUMCRASH? -TRYNA GET FACEFUCKED? LETS GET FACEFUCKED!!!! -"I can't physically drink tonight"-Andres, "So you can mentally drink?"-Gio "Fuck you gio lol"-Andres -Philosophical Steven says: Do trees have chromosomes? -The sage of wisdom and the sage of philosophy make up THE ROMAN EMPIRE OF BEER PONG! -Virginia: ohhhhhh giooooooo!!!(beer spilled) -Gio: IT WASNT ME!!! -Silent Jay and Sideshow Bob! -Cups but no ping pong balls for beer pong.....lets use the tequila cap!!! -Beer is nasty....well its gross anyway so lets try mixing it like real alcohol....mixing Budweiser with berry hawaiin punch....OMG....DELICIOUS!!!...THIS....IS......BLUEBERRY!!! -"What are we gonna do with all this junk"-Andres, "With all that junk up in this trunk"-Gio, "I'm gonna get you drunk!"-Jacob -Hot chicks in Finland ruin my day-Gio -Finland: the land of fins -Gio "You're just my afterschool activity...."-Cannot be said -2G OR NOT 2G, THAT IS THE QUESTION -Steven -If you stare at a lightbulb, you see 2, if you have glasses on, you see 4, with 4eyes glasses, you see 8, and when youre drunk, YOU SEE 16 DAMN LIGHTBULBS!!!! -Gio Gio: "Skrillex? Isn't his name Skill-rex? You know, like hot dog... corncob... Skill-rex? They're like homonyms."Samantha Caviness: "Those aren't homonyms... they're just compound words." - The cure for pepsi burps? MORE PEPSI!!! -Take Mitchel's advice and DRINK MORE! -"OMG DID SHE JUST MOTORBOAT MIKE?!?!?!"-Andres -"STUPID SLUDGE"-Derek -"I want my freakin trees!"-Derek -"Oh, sulfuric acid? Yeah, thats going down the drain? -Kyle about Chris -"Map control has changed!"-Steven, "I don't even know what that means, but clearly, fuck you!"-Mike -"DONT TOUCH MY FACEBOOK OR I WILL MURDER YOU" -Mike -BENNY FROSTY -Cigars. Cigars? Cigars. CIGARS! Cigars? Cigars -Steven, Steven, Gio -THE RUMBLE STRIP! -Brian K -Don't come over here! Just divide it into 6 and tell me which section to hold! -Gio -No fancy shit serves, just hit it for real -Gio -Just tell me the ghettoest quickest way to hit it -Gio -"I'm ball chick-ing" -Gio -"Zombieland is THE TITS" -Brian -"What purpose does this exit sign serve? It's just chillin there" -Brian -*mid lab report writing* "You know what really sucks?"-Gio, "EL NINO"-Brian -"Here's what we'll do: you don't vote for Obama and I don't vote for Romney and we call it even."-Brian -"My sexual orientation may or may not have changed on facebook"-Gio, "GET OUT!"-Brian "OK time to make a big mistake!"-Gio, "DONT YOU DARE MAKE THAT RAMEN!"-Brian -"Yeah, were so poor we can't even afford free samples" Gio -"No, shes not holding a beach ball, she just has really big boobs"-Lizzie -"We got fucking league of nations right here" -Bochicchio -Tastes like 10 molar curry pentoxide" -Danny Yang -"It's just across the street....if you want"-Amber -"This shit aint gonna fly.....IT FLEW" -Gio/Brian -"What is the moon phase? Waxing gibbous. Is that the big one? Yeah. Ohh, the moon must have also eaten turkey." -Thanksgiving, Julie -"Wait....is that pants?" -Monster Party -"I thought I pressed the start button, but apparently I pressed the F U button"-Gio "Chemister" -MTG -"Does 6 pullups. MORE PHOSPHORUS IS REQUIRED" -Gio -"Look at this big ice cube blocking my road yesterday" "You mean snow pile?" -Gio's dad -"WHAT? TWO DOLLAR BETTER THAN NO DOLLAR!" -Gio's dad -"This road is too trafficated today" -Gio's dad -"She thought skinny people don't get cholesterol but she was wrong and now she'll have to call roto reuters too" -Gio's dad -"Where do you want to retire? "A nice warm bitch" "You mean beach?" -Gio's dad -"WAIT, DON'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS! MY WIG MIGHT EXPLODE!!" -Gio -"Who's using the chloroform?"-Someone in chemlab -"Aaaaaand here's your cocaine peak, your heroin peak, your meth peak..."-Dr. Tissue -"KIMWIPE EXTRACTION!" -Roberto -"BAG OF BAG....OF BAGS!!!" -Gio -"I walked into a state farm office and said lets make an insurance deal, they looked at me and smiled, these are my people!" -Gio -"I'd rather try anal sex for the first time than fermented milk" -Adrian -"Please hit me in the balls, my balls are wide open" -Adrian -"Hey, wait till the tequila storm passes, 11 shots, shes pouring them now, that shit takes time" -Adrian -"I could have worn nothing tonight, but I chose to wear this" -Jenny -"If you wanna use my bathroom, suffer the consequences" -Adrian -"Because it comes in a tube it's magically more delicious? Fuck that bullshit" -Adrian -"Drink more water, it pushes it down your sarcophagus faster" -William while drinking -"High five with a glove full of trash juice" -Spencer -"That cat even used its legs for full body propulsion to send out that barf" -Gio -"My brain is drunk but my mind is not" -Spencer -"Right after Halloween is over you can already hear Christmas usic on the radio, like Frosty the Parrot" -Virginia Li -"passed on from aunt passed on to sister passed on to me" "So family Car" "So it's a van" -William -"Do you have a GPS?" "What? "GPS" "What? "GPS" "What? "Do you have a Global Positioning System in your car?" "Ohhhhhhh, yes." -Gio/William -"What does the pig say? Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo" -"I thought I heard absorption noises" –Headphones -“MORE DOTS MORE DOTS….ok stop dots” -"Unlike your regular voice, which is just angelic" -Spencer to William-"That Doppler Effect"-"Hey hey hey, wanna be evil? Hop on me" -William -"Gotta buy some shoes and some mana pots" "How many metapods?" "ALL THE METAPODS" "So many butterfrees" -Headphones, Gio, Will -"Ooooh a neck, I don't have a neck. Now I do." -William -"Tears is the poop of your eyes"- Luna"But my eyes is so small you cant find nowhere to poop" -Luna -"Bloody mary: It's a breakfeast drink, you know, like brunch" -Ross -"Listen here nigga, I can't do Chinese" -Chindi"Dude" "Duzi" "No, ge-men" -Robert and Feng"Cuz the barrels" -Headphones -"Ugh, my internet is so done", "Well done?" "WELL DONE"- Gio and Headphones -"I didn't know blizzard had a tasty ass" "It's not just a tasty ass, it's so sweet" -Headphones and Will -"I need hands, I need hands, and a finger, two fingers, OH, dont need hands.....PANTS" -Will -"Just fucking put it in my mouth, nigga I will never say this again" -Chindi eating a boiled egg in a cab -"What's your technique for remembering things?" "Ohhhh I can't remember" -Graham and English corner student -Major achievement in life: I killed the sasser worm...WHEN I WAS 12! -Trojan Vundo.....DONE FINISHED, REFORMATTED! -One does not simply get Trojan Vundo and then clean their computer -"They're all ding dong bells" -Dad -"I was super happy she was actually dead" -Spencer talking about anime-"An RV is the best thing you can do" -Rudy 711 -"This is an A, B, C conversation and your D is not welcome" -Gio -"Yeah, she is being like, 9/3rds bitch" -Gio -"I need a new body wash, but I cant find any other cucumber or apple scented ones" -Gio -"Buy them cut carrots" -Gio-"Spends 20 dollars and over 30 minutes meat shopping and never eats it" -Gio -"WHAT IS A D-BONE?" -Gio in a conversation about de-boning a chicken -"Do you know what a shallot is??" "YES" "Well, you're magical then!" -Gio and Sam/Lizzie -"LET'S HUG TOURNAMENT STYLE" -Gio -"I TYPED IN PEAR AND GOT PENIS" -Gio -"IT TASTES LIKE BURNT GROSS...CHARCOAL" -Gio upon eating a meringue cookie -"Skrillex? Isn't his name skill-rex? Like hot dog, corncob, skill-rex" -Gio -Banana in luna's hometown dialect means won't take/get it. The last time she wanted to give me something, all I said was......banana. She asked me to buy bananas...banana banana" -"Zev, its spelled: Z, E, EV" -Judy -"I'm gonna call my mustache Zev" -Gio -"Whats the plan? The plan is Kakuna" -"Kakuna Matata" -"Kakuna, Box 1, 2015-2015, Never forget" -"Heyyyyy Johnny, youuuuu get ap eat lanch" -Luna -"I want to share my happiness with you, so eat these spicy chicken feet" -Julia -"ZHU BING GUAN" -Fengming -"Would you rather eat chocolate flavored shit or shit flavored chocolate?" "Shit flavored chocolate" "Why?" "Well thats pretty much what chou doufu is right? And I don't like chocolate anyways" -Gio and Fengming -"JIU WAN NI"-"Is chocolate a fruit?" "LOL NO" "No? It's a plant then, right?" "Well, not exactly" "THEN WHAT IS IT?" -Fengming and Gio -"Fengming, Junfeng, a pair of Fengzi" -"You threw away jiu wan, threw me away? Okay then, peng myself, jiuwan" -Gio -"It won't shave, what happened?" -Luna bringing me a hand razor with the protective plastic case still on it -Luna's Special Moments: Bought chapstick then threw away cap, kissed own arm, cough in face after turning away, bought 2 left shoes, poked the straw in the yogurt real hard and it almost fell in, flippy slap, hand razor fail -JIU SHI ZHUHAI JIU SHI ZHUHAI, YIDING JIU SHI!...It was Guangzhou. -"Thank god he's not a priest" -Daniel -"Here, turn into a frog, courtesy of Gio" -Gio -"I love my whitelells in this deck" -Spencer "10 10 whitelell" -Gio -"Wait I wanna hear taste my steel" -Will "Taste my steel..." -Wolfrider "Wait, what, steel? Zoom in, hes holding claws, made from like an elephant or something" -Gio -"I will survive, I will survive, and then die to these fucking murlocs" -Gio dying to Spencer's murloc deck -"God damnit, lord of the bullshit" -Spencer -"They cook with liquid nitrogen, you can cook with cold too!" -Daniel "How does it work?" -Shiro "It works fine." -Daniel "LOL Can you expand on that?" -Everyone -"bye bye...I mean good night" -Luna -"Do you have wifi?" -English corner friend "What kind of food is that?" -Ayi of DingXiangYuan "Uhhh Never mind" -English corner friend -"Guess who John shares a birthday with?" -Headphones "Adolf Hitler" "Kim Jong Il" -William and Gio at the same time "No, worse, MY MOM!" -Headphones -"That back is like one of the worst backs I've ever seen" -William -"Aww time to replace my legs" -William -"Someone actually had to point out to me that was a tongue" -Headphones -"Is that vodka plutonium???" -Gio "WAT?" -Lizzie "The label says plutonium...oh...platinum...basically plutonium, lets just pick a p element and write it on the vodka label" Gio -"GIO, Its what you thought the alcohol was" "PLUTONIUM" Lizzie and Gio playing some guessing game -"But the gypsies had a secret weapon, their alcoholic porridge" -Andres "Mmmm gotta drink to that, to the alcoholic porridge" -Gio -"Maybe you could do something or call somebody I can do" -Drunken Mojo discussing Jenga lose penalty -"Boy or girl I'll fuck anyone!...that sounds really bad" -Mojo -"Centaurs have 6 arms" -Lizzie -"The pricks came on her skin, hard and fast" -Mojo -"She was startled by a rustling in the bushes, at first she thought it was deez nuts, but then found it was actually deez snakes" -Lizzie -"Julie Mayott making sand witches for Jesus Christ." -All Chat -"It's not frozen yogurt, it's fried yogurt" -Luna -"Yes, I lag on a flip phone" -Headphones -Panamabanana -Gio and Daniel -"Revolving doors can suck my dick" -John -"This is deep, we're talking THREE BALLS DEEP" -William -"Who has the ball?" -William "ME!" -Matt..............."Matt has the ball" -William "MATT SHUT THE FUCK UP" -Gio -"Hao de mama de dianhua haoma shi hao bu hao.......Haoma Haoma Haoma" -Drunk in the car with Luna and Phoenix -Emulator Inception: Run a Windows emulator on Linux, which runs a NDS emulator on Windows which runs a GBA emulator for the NDS. Try running that on a virtual machine. -"YOU SHOULDA USED THE DOWN P" -Headphones -In order to be successful, you also need the intelligence and a shit ton of luck. If you have a 70 IQ, I don't give a shit how hard you try, you're not going to get that computer to work because it's actually a microwave. -My computer says "Press any button to continue", but I couldn't find the any button, so I tried pressing the power button, but it just keeps turning off. What am I doing wrong? -"I think Julie has done some shit and seen some shit, but acts and looks more innocent than she is." -Will "You haven't even seen my porn videos!" -Julie -Server goes down, does homework -Andre -DONE. DONE AND FINISHED. EXTRA DONE EXTRA FINISHED. ANDRE DONE. NICKNIGHTER! -Attendance Quiz: 22 people show up, 74 get credit -Deck's Inorganic -"One does not simply just exchange neutrons" -Deck -"One does not simply just defend against a mutalisk rush" -Steven -"Some kind of Hispanical" -Dad -You know it's bad when you go bowling, hit 1 pin and are in third place of 5 people -We go into Guang Ge's house and drink his booze but can't find the glasses, only large paper cups. Calls him while he is at work "Where did you hide the alcohol glasses?". Hid them in the cabinet bottom shelf behind something else. -In college senior year, I came back to my dorm room horribly drunk from a party one night. I was feeling nautious and went to go hang over the sink in case I needed to throw up. My roommate goes "GIO, You better not barf in that sink!". So I went back to my chair and laid on my arms on my desk. Eventually roommate left. Drunk as hell, I threw up while in the chair. It went all over my desk, apple keyboard, white pants, belt, and pink shirt. Drunken me said fuck that shit, took off my clothes, put in hamper, washed hands and face, and went to bed. The vomit on my desk and keyboard eventually ran down the left side of my desk and on top of my desktop computer on the floor on the left side of the desk. Lucky me had a Thermaltake case with a huge fan on the top of the case. While sleeping, my barf ran down into my computer, entered the fan grate on the top of the case, and dripped inside. It fried my motherboard, RAM, and dirtied so many parts of my case. Somehow the graphics card survived. Ruined a sexy case. I woke up the next morning to my computer making strange noises as it tried to boot up over and over but turned off around 1 second after the fans started spinning up each time. I cleaned up what I could, cleaned out the case the best I could, and salvaged what parts were not fried or had minimal barfage corrosion. Roommate returned to room as I was almost finished cleaning borked PC, didn't know it even happened. Used my laptop until the weekend, went home, and rebuilt in a second case with new motherboard and some replacement parts. Got another apple keyboard. I can literally say that I threw up into my running PC and fried the motherboard due to HCl corrosion. TL;DR: Don't buy cases with top fans! It's hard to throw up into a computer sideways. -"Its a fangus!" -Dad -YOU'RE GOIN SOUTH! "Vegan; Can't eat that either." -Katelyn "How about mushrooms?" -Gio "Sure!" -Katelyn "Raw okay?" -Gio *Brings one raw unwashed mushroom from the fridge and puts it on the table. "Here you go mushroom lady, that's as vegan as it gets! You're goin South! Cheers!" -Gio "Well I guess dirt has some vitamins" -Katelyn Wheres the ass cream? It's in the chicken. -With Wang LaoShi, we had ten red dice, all ten 4s. I claimed eight 4s. He said nine 4s! Instead of calling ten, I opened. There was ten!!! TEN RED! TEN FOUR! -"Add another to the shoe graveyard" -Gio@Dad -Chocolate POODING -"What the hell did he just say? I'm not sure, but i think he said its just wailing flavored?" -Gio dreaming -"Look at this motherfucker glitching around like hes negatively charged or something" -Gio dreaming about King of Greattree in 3 different emulators overlayed with one glitching out -"Only a true pokemon master knows this answer: Who was the first Pokemon?" A. Bulbasaur B. Mew C. Rhydon D. Arceus I remember clearly the deaths of three men. One was the richest man of the century, who, having clawed his way to wealth through the souls and bodies of men, spent many years trying to buy back the love he had forfeited and by that process performed great service to the world and, perhaps, had much more than balanced the evils of his rise. I was on a ship when he died. The news was posted on the bulletin board, and nearly everyone received the news with pleasure. Several said, “Thank God that son of a bitch is dead.” Then there was a man, smart as Satan, who, lacking some perception of human dignity and knowing all too well every aspect of human weakness and wickedness, used his special knowledge to warp men, to buy men, to bribe and threaten and seduce until he found himself in a position of great power. He clothed his motives in the names of virtue, and I have wondered whether he ever knew that no gift will ever buy back a man’s love when you have removed his self-love. A bribed man can only hate his briber. When this man died the nation rang with praise and, just beneath, with gladness that he was dead. There was a third man, who perhaps made many errors in performance but whose effective life was devoted to making men brave and dignified and good in a time when they were poor and frightened and when ugly forces were loose in the world to utilize their fears. This man was hated by the few. When he died the people burst into tears in the streets and their minds wailed, “What can we do now? How can we go on without him?” In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world. John Steinbeck, East of Eden In order to be successful, you also need the intelligence and a shit ton of luck. If you have a 70 IQ, I don't give a shit how hard you try, you're not going to get that computer to work because it's actually a microwave. Is that why all my computer does is light up and make a humming noise? My computer just keeps blinking 12:00 I'm on the same boat. My computer says "Press any button to continue", but when I press the power button it keeps turning off. -"Ranked is being ranked again." -Will -"What road is the address?" -Gio "Flintlock Doctor" -Luna -A Christian Chinese and Catholic Italian-American married in an Apiscapal church by a Methodist priest. The priest, church owner, and piano player were all named Jeffery. -"So...Aurelian Sol was so fun!" -Syrup "HELL NO!!! Are you crazy?!?!" -William "SHUT DOWN" -Gio -"How do i not have boots yet? i need to slap myself" -Gio -"Whose birthday is coming up next, because whoever it is is getting a waifu pillow" -Gio -"Woah, what just jumped out of the lake...DIGESTER!?!? WHAT?!" -Gio "The question is...who gets Kel'Thuzad" -Gio "I hope you get him because I'm so tired of this...MOTHER FUDGER!!!! *surrenders" -Will "CHICKEN PACKET" -Halfurion "STUPID SLUDGE!" -Derek Gio: Sage of Wisdom, Sage of Swole Andres: Sage of Balance, Sage of Andross Steven: Sage of Philosophy Derek: Sage of Raging, Sage of Burritos William: Sage of Foraging Jacob: Sage of Blackouts Aaron: Sage of Shots Tara: Sage of Delicious Ideas Brian: Sage of Grogginess Mike: Sage of Juddgernaut THE UNSPOKEN RULES OF MARIOKART: -Crushing someone with the super mushroom is referred to as a swole stomp -Swole stomps are 1 point, bomb snipes are 1 point, knocking someone off the stage is 1 point -The best choice for knocking people off the edge is King Boo, Standard Kart L, Automatic -Bowser's Castle 3 is the official swole stomping level, EL CASTILLO DE BOWSER TRES! -If you have star cocaine near someone, hit them, back up, and hit them again! -If you're in first or second place, you aren't playing the game -The most opportune place to get swole shrooms is 5th place, it is referred to as The Cool 5th. -The last 2 stage picks are always Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Road -JANUARY 5, last day of the month, NEVER FORGET -"KALE!" -Headphones "Kale what, I don't see any fruit...wait...Kale isn't a fruit" -Gio "Fruits have nuts" -William "KALE DOES NOT HAVE NUTS!!!" -Headphones -"My new weapon is a hand...and its not mine" -Gio -"Its like she has down syndrome...in just one eye" -Gio -"The fourth symbol is a scrotum" -Spencer -"Carry me upstairs" -Judy "Sure, hop on my ass" -Mom -"Survivally things" -Spencer -"And we saw a dog-a-lookalike" -Dad -"Why American coffee so cheesy? It's awful!" -Luna -"Our Hardees no longer makes fried chicken. That's like McDonalds no longer making burgers and italian restaurants no longer making pizza" -Gio -"But our stuff get much and much and much and mucher" -Luna -"At least the school bus id not uploading or downloading people" -Luna -"Do you like Thai food?" -Japanese student "Typhoon? What typhoon?" -Kumazawa -Dad was really tired one night at a stop light and put his car in park and closed his eyes. He woke up 40 minutes later still there. -"Trogg, attack!" -Gio "Mrrrggghhhh" -Trogg -Terraria: 2 meteors fell and we can't find them. They were both at the bottom of corruption pits. HOW?!?!?!? -Hey Will, check out Terraria! *10 hours later* DEAR GOD WHAT TIME IS IT WE NEED TO SLEEP -"Headphones wins the least married award" -Gio -"Stop opening the door old man!...not you Headphones" -Will -Terraria: *Opens the door and lets an eyeball in the house and closes door* -Gio "OH MY GOD GIO" -Will -Terraria: Made pink torches, can't build house -MAMMOTH ROLL -Terraria: Knows how to make a team, doesn't know how to build house -Terraria: "OH THATS BROKEN!!" *Will William gets first yoyo....oh thats broken -Terraria: Project Plumber Bros. Unclog Hellevator Drain -testing of this keyboard mmmm -ABU-BADGUY -Aaaaaand halt -"Tactical butt scooch" -Spencer -"You need internet right?" -William "INTERNET??!??" -Spencer *A yellow ! pops up above William's head* -LFM CHIPS PST -LF39M MC PST -"Stick it in the bog" -William -"What road is 420?" -Spencer -"WHAT, FLOOR IT?!?!?...aaaaaand 35" -Gio -"One is a street legal race-car and one is a street legal regular car" -Spencer -S.S. Street Legal Regular Car -"You know who has aides? Professor Oak" -Gio -*Drops an uncased phone on the street. Lands on the power button and button bends inwards and won't work. William. -*Drops phone 2 feet when it's in an Otterbox case. Screen cracks. William. -"Stick your head into the sun" -Gio "AHHHHHHH IT BURNS!" -Spencer on VR -"Uranus just bounced off my face" -Spencer on VR -DRAGON DAD -ENORMOUS NUMBER OF CORPSES -"Solar powered death in ray form" -Spencer -"Wait...how long is this!?!?" -Gio "YEESSSSSS...43 minutes in" -Will and Spencer -"What would you rate this?" -Gio "7" -WIlliam "Because she's not animated" -Spencer -"I thought that table foul was bad until we saw a couch foul" -Gio at Spencer -"Spencer, drink your wargarita (watery margarita)" -Gio -"I hope you know this, but that jizz was just right" -William to Andres for past jizzing -"Fat-fuckery" -Andres -"Does fat-fuckery have two Fs?" -Gio -"Double dewgonged, when the fudge did you do that???" -Gio -*Lands on MissingNo, person to the right drinks instead* Gio ends up drinking 2 after his own slowpoke, FFFFFFUUUUUUUU. Also, infinite combo eevee action was banned. -"I took so many pictures at this point, it's basically porn" -Gio -"Wow that almost fountained out!" -Spencer at William almost barfing from his Pina Colada -"You have no idea how much I needed that fat fuck" -William -"Open a notepad and queue up William's drinks to drink after he finished this drink" -Gio at William Snorlax fat fucking on the floor -"HEADSHOT!" -Gio at Andres throwing chubacca slippers at William lazy fat fucking -"PARTY FOUL...IT WAS EMPTY, FUCK!" -Spencer at Gio "I spill ALL the empty things!" -Gio -"Cannot confirm or deny whether I touched my hair" -Spencer -SIR SPENCE -"Get on me and you don't have to drink"- Spencer to Gio *Gets on me* -Spencer *Does slowpoke action* -Gio "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" -Spencer "You have a drink now" -Gio "No, I have 4 because Silph Co." -Spencer -"You underestimate my 1 rolling skills!" -Gio -"Counterspell of Pokemon Drinking Game: Slowpoke a slowpoke action" -Gio -PIZZA SLAP -"Got hungry, ate myself" -Gio -"Haunter, first person to lick someone....*Dives to William and licks* YEEESSSSSS!" -Spencer -"William's TV is hypnotic" -Gio -"Let's see what you have here: Tequila, tequila, more tequila" -William's dad -Goes to Walmart, buys a Pringles tube and 2 limes in a plastic bag. Andres. -"Is that Ezreal?" -Gio -"Chain Chomp random, FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU" -Headphones "Bone!" -Gio "BONE!!!!!!!" -Everyone "THANK YOU GIO!!" -Headphones -*Gets a 6 in Mathletes minigame, Needs 2 spaces for a star* "OH SHIT, I just used my mammoth roll! My rolling power is dwindled" -William *Rolls 1* "FFFFFFFF" -William -"HOLY CRAP, all 4 of us got red spaces. I haven't seen that happen since Mario Party 1!" -Gio -"Oh, a new mini game...let's see how to play...press A repeatedly, DAMNIT, GIO WINS" -Everyone -"That's a hot lot of new shit in there" -William -Mario Party, all 4 of us land on the duel spot in the first 2 turns -"Muffin button" -Headphones "Mutton buffin?" -William -"The steak is a big game changer" -Spencer -"They nerfed his face" -Gio -Panera put stickers on the window because Luna ran into it and almost broke her nose. The next time we go back, she did it again with the glass in front of the food. -Headphones in Mario Party minigame to ground poind the switch with no traps. Ground pounds all switches, all have traps. "Uhhhh.....WHAT!?!?!?" -Everyone "Draw." -SELF PROCLAIMED PIECE OF SHIT ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -OKAY! I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait...I wrote that wrong. OKAY! I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month. I'm not drinking for good, now I drink for evil. -Rule 13: If a song exists, there is an 8-bit remix of it somewhere -"SHIT......SHIT SHIT SHIT, I JUST UNINSTALLED MY GRAPHICS CARD" -Judy -"I can do anything with notepad" -Gio -"Join call and join all chat has just combined into JOIN CALL CHAT" -William and Gio -"I'm just not an FPS player" -Headphones -"I'm a Frames Per Second player" -Gio -"GAIZ, fix your shit!" Will "Too much of the same shit shit?" -Gio "Yes, same shit shit." -Will "Just changed my shit. Shit shit good?" -Gio -"Womp womp wompwompwomp wompppp womp womp" -Matt "What?" -Gio "DEEZ NUTZS" -Matt "Womp womp wommmmmmmmp" -Headphones -Wash these dishes. Quest reward: Epic sponge -"DOES IT CLEO PLANETS?" Will -YOU LYING BADONKADONK -"I AM BOTTOM BITCH" -Matt -In the morning, our dogs start their band at 2:30 am. Pepper is the singer, Maggie is the guitar, and Molly is the bass and drums. -"She would be like Are you sure you fat bitch?...without the bitch part" -Judy "So she would say Are you sure you fat?........" -Gio "I hate you Johnny" -Judy -Something most people in the world wouldnt understand and you would never hear: LFM DPS UBRS PST have tank and key LPT: The first thing you should print after purchasing a 3D printer is replacement parts for said printer: If it's the printer factory's printer printing printer, then it's the printer's printer printer, printing printer printers for printing printers? King Zora says: Whole wheat. Whole wheat. Whole wheat. Whole wheat. COFFEE SODA TOFFEE PASTA COFFEE SODA GIVE ME COFFEE -"But you gave the dicks (disc) to me!" -Luna -"I bet they are so salty after that. They are eating, drowning, pissing salt!" -Will -"I'm either gonna eat you or eat you with my body" -Headphones -"Yeah, they keep horning! (beeping the horn)" -Luna -"Shitty ball hands" -Luna -"Cracker juice" -Luna -"By the way guys, we hit 45 minutes, 60 minute rez time" -Will -"That rune page has lava tax" -Headphones -"Dude my brain is full" -Gio -"But my left eye..." -"WAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!" -Will "...*waits 6 seconds*...Okay, I'll just continue" -Headphones -"MY PEOPLE" -Will -"Spes....Specissic...Spe...Tespes...Specissificis.....spe...BLEH" -Will "TESTICULARLY" -Headphones "Specifically" -Gio -HYPERSHITS -"If you've been on the internet before, you've seen a lot of nipples" -Will -"NO! You better live! I will kill you if you die!" -Gio playing LoL -"That stype fan is a lot quieter than blower style like this....style + type = stype....forming words in English is hard" -Spencer -"At least we marines get to slay dragons, you guys slay tps reports lol" -Matt -"ARMY STRONG at lying" -Will -"Turns out DNA is only 11.6 GB when zipped, who would have thought" -Gio -"2.7 GB error log file" -Spencer -"There's a lot of differentiality" -Dad -"OMG, Lizzie, is that you? Your face is only like 65% recognizable" -Dreaming Gio -"He's pretty badashe" -William -"It's a one eyed bear, instead of a one eyed whatever rengar is" -Headphones -"Don't rape, steal and murder." -Matt -"Don't rape. Steal and murder." -Headphones -"Don't. Rape, steal, and murder." -Matt "I am not in high position I need more training more education..." -Addie -"I'm sure if you wink hard enough, Spencer will put you into a position" -Gio -"SAVE ME. SAVE ME NOW" -Spencer -"Are you guys playing Pokemon GO?" -Addie -"A little, not much" -William -"I had a life before this one" -Addie -"We are all playing, but no one is too far. Oh god, what level are you." -Gio -"I'm going to guess 8. No, 6." -William -"I guess I will start today or maybe tomorrow"- Addie -"0!" -Will -"LOL" -Everyone -"MOST UNEXPECTED NUMBER. EVERYONE LOSES. DRINK 3!" -Gio -"Instead of blue balling......blue.....blue ovarying yourself..." -Will -"Hey, lets bring this conversation back to sex real quick. How much is a dildo?" -Will -"After checking on Spencer's website..." -Matt "WAIT, Spencer has a website?" -Will "Spencers, the store" -Matt "OHHHHH" -Will -"Wait is that Ezreal? Jhin takes his mask off and Ezreal is underneath. GG." -Gio -"I love rustling her feathers like that" -Will -"I rustle her feathers the easiest" -Headphones -"He is streaming 4k porn. 4k VR Porn. That is literally the highest amount of bandwidth you can take up." -Gio -"Come back when you join the 1T Anime Club" -Gio -"Yeah, the last episode aired in 2017" -Will "*checks clock* 2016" -Gio -"Subway, I like your subs, but not your...well...they don't really sell much of anything else" -Headphones -Garrosh gave her MANA CANCER -PIRATE GHOST MORDE BACKDOOR WITH ALL THE DOUBLOONS -"He's either shitting or fapping right now" -Headphones "SHAPPING!" -Gio -"You're never gonna change that RIP Monty Oam are you Headphones, are you?" -Will -"Well is he any less dead?" -Headphones -"Chocolate Chesticles" -Headphones -"Today, I gave my first pentakill to a Graves, RIP." -Gio -William catches a Pokemon in Pokemon Go and Matt and I hear the cry. We literally guess like all 151 pokemon EXCEPT the one it actually is. It was fucking EKANS. -"LISTEN UP ALL CHAT: WILLIAM'S BIRTHDAY IS NOW EKANS. THAT IS ALL." -Gio -"You know what I love about my Playstation 4?" -Matt "That it's not named Ekans" -Gio -"Okay, I have literally tried like everything at this point. Kabuto, Omanyte, Aerodactyl, Yo momma" -Gio "YES!" -Will -"OMG ALAKAZAM! boop....boop.....AWWWW.....boop....boop.....AWWWW..........boop....boop.....boop....HMMMMM??....click!....YESSSSSS!" -Gio, Matt, Will -"Earlier William caught an Alakazam and we were listening to each ball shake" -Gio -"People say God made the earth 1000 years ago and I say BITCH THERE'S TREES OLDER THAN THAT" -Will -*Sings the FF7 Victory Fanfare theme with just the word fuck* -Will, Matt, Gio -"Haven't been able to get internet ONCE all year in world regions....and people ask me how I get my name! #wrvt #AsleepTailgateChairDude" -Gio -"Smoothie for lunch cuz they were out of spicy chickens" -Gio -"What is more dirty: Week old garbage in a rusty garbage can or a bowl of insectless sterilized dirt?" -Gio -"Every breath I take resets my 5 minute death timer" -Some Redditor -"My camera won't turn on!" -Spencer "It's protecting us from your face" -Julie -IS THAT LAUGHING AND FUN I HEAR? 10 YEARS IN THE BRIG! -"You're a bad girl" -Julie -"You know you're bad when Julie calls you out" -Matt -"LISTEN UP ALL CHAT. JULIE'S REAL NAME IS ANNA. THAT IS ALL." -Gio -"PSA: Julie's mom parties." -Gio -"I love base life. Why couldn't it have been me?" -Addy -"Join the military. The Air Force always needs people who can smell." -Spencer -"Well, if you do see the movie William, I hope you have a good time" -Julie -"NO, I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD TIME! IM FALLING APART HERE!" -Addie -"Okay, see you in 20 minutes" -Gio -"10 gigs of porn..." -Will -"PSH!!!!!" -Gio -"cookies" -Will -"HOLY SHIT!" -Gio -"Well, I was working on him..." -Addie "OH SHIT SON" -Gio -"Anything but Overwatch, Signed, Gio" -Gio -"Yeahhhh, let's play Overwatch again" -Will -"I'm gonna shave" -Will -"Electric shave?" -Headphones -"Gas powered shave. No, NUCLEAR SHAVE!" -Gio -"Hey maybe I should be a furry, I haven't shaved in a while!" -Julie -"How do words good?" -Headphones -"I don't give it a time a give a some try give it a try" -Will -"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER" -Gio -"I don't speak it" -Will -"You click it just goes to your downloads folder. It's not that hard." -Will -"Yeah, I just dont get it" -Addie -"Okay, Windows 7, Windows 8, or Windows 10?" -Will -"I have a Mac" -Addie -"OH GOD" -Will, Gio -"I have this really dumb idea." -Addie -"Kids?" -Will -"Nope hell no lol. At least not right now. Hey let's do a video" -Addie -"Umm, I only got 1 hour" -Will -"Not that kind of video!" -Addie -"DAMN! I was going to make so much cash" -Will -"Yeah, okay." -Addie -"I would film it for you!" -Spencer -"Can you like quiet down a bit?" -Addie -"You do know your computer has a volume control, right?" -Spencer -"Are you guys going to talk tonight? I am sooooo bored" -Addie -'Addie bored. ADDIE SMASH! STUPID BOARD!" -Headphones -"Headphones has lost it for sure" -Addie -"ALL THE GUYS! The internet is a great place to meet people" -William -"Except furries" -Spencer -"They are the best! CAT EARS!" -William -"GIO I WANT YOUR GENES.....wait....no I don't" -Julie -"I love your sense of fashion. I want to have your children. Just kidding. Should I just sit in the corner now?" -Julie -"I wasn't 20 until I had my license" -Addie -"THEY JUST WANNA PUMP AND DUMP, LITERALLY" -Will -"Chick fil-a was giving out free pumps of mouth wash in the bathroom. I think its one of the greatest inventions I've ever seen." -Addie -"He just 368 degrees'd and turned his life around." -Addie -"368? Are you sure?" -Gio -"Hey, let's not get mathy here" -Addie -"In real terms, I believe I'm a hero" -Addie -"Wait, is Gio in the call?"- Addie -"http://imnotsurewhatkindofshowsyoureintobecausethepeopleyouaretalkingtoareobviouslyjustnerdsandwatchanimesogoodluckwiththat.com" -Gio websitifying William talking to Addie -"If you put them in a room together and strip them down, they would literally just look at eachother and be like eww" -Will -"You going out with him, yes or no?" Gio -"I don't have to bend to peer pressure" -Addie -"If you don't say yes, then it's no" -Gio -"NO ITS NOT" -Addie -"I wonder what you guys think of me. Mmmmm, I think I'm like an 8" -Addie -"Were talking about 0, gremlin under the bridge, to 10, fucking sexy pornstar" -Matt -"Addie, do you feel that you speak English or American?" -Gio -"I speak Adanese" -Addie -"Adanese.....adanese......AT EASE!" -Gio -ALUMINUM SHROOMS -"No Man's Sky Multiplayer'd is now a past tense verb. Just like Spore. THEY FUCKING SPORED IT!" -Gio -Insert dick into monolith. -Yes, yes, yes! No, no, no no no! Yes! No! Peppers! -"My goal in life is to have a conversation with a race" -Will -"This is like...the land of large animals" -Spencer -"After Matt joins the call and does his roar thing, he makes a dick or butt joke within 1 minute every time guaranteed" -Will -BOWSER LAUGH THUNDER -"Open the crack" -Will -"RELEASE THE CRACK!" -Gio -"High school is nothing more than a village" -Will -"Actually, close me, because I'm annoying" -Will -"I went to this workshop cuz I wasn't getting it" -Addie -"You mean cuz you weren't getting any" -Gio -"Which Greymane? Leeroy Greymane" -Gio -"FREAKING PSALMS IS DUMB THOUGH" -Will -"I love interacting with people and seeing what they can do" -Will -"So what youre really saying is you're a male version of Brittney Spears" -Addie -"Where the hell did that come from?" -ALL CHAT -"Yeah, I was there for that conversation, but I thought I heard it from a Youtube video and not you" -Headphones -"Cock strikes twelve" -Matt -"I just looted a void boiled squirrel, what the fuck...try saying boiled squirrel 5 times fast" -Gio -"First thing I heard when I put my headset on was Gio going boiled squirrel boiled squirrel" -Spencer -"But gas is so fucking expensive here" -Addie -"Just run your car on jet fuel" -Gio -"LOL YEAH RIGHT" -Will -"You can, it's only like a dollar a gallon" -Gio -"Yeah wow you're right gio, jet fuel is 93 cents a gallon" -Will -"Did you just google how expensive is jet fuel?" -Gio -"I wonder how much boobs are. Damnit now I have to go back and Google that" -Will -"Don't shake my left leg!" -Luna -"MATT, I'M NOT A PUG, I'M YOUR FRIEND, STOP IT!" -Headphones -"How the hell am I still level 1? I have 2 kills" -Will -"I didn't say anything he is like let's just go hide behind a knowledge. Or a hill!" -Addie -"Addie...my wife is Chinese, my dad is Italian, and my best friend is dislexic but I still can't understand that" -Gio -"I couldn't see you screaming unless it was something like MY WAIFUUUUUSSS!!!" -Julie to William -"REALLY FLAST. MY BRAIN IS GOING LIKE 100 MILES PER HOUR" -Will -"My free trial of WinRAR ended? What's WinRAR?" -Julie -"First world problems: lag" -Headphones -"That is good shit! That's the kind of shit I'd eat!" -Will -"That Braum can block my shit!" -Headphones -"The shit you want to eat?" -Gio -"WHO WANTS A PIECE OF MY DRAGON DICK?" -Headphones -"If she doesn't know the original 151 Pokemon, she's too young for you. After Pokemon Go, no one is too young for me anymore!" -Headphones -"If she doesn't know who Muk is, she is too young to see Muk backwards" -Headphones -"Who do you think you are, that guy from Cancervania?" -Will -"Every time Headphones says dick I have to take a shot" -Gio -"How the hell do you spell dislexic? Holy crap, I'm too dislexic to spell dislexic" -Gio -"What the fuck is that word? I think I see a semicolon in there somewhere" -Gio -"Say this 5 times fast: The kitchen sink stinks like chicken" -Gio -TIL in 1847 Robert Liston amputated a mans leg in under 2.5 minutes, operaterating so quickly he amputated the fingers of his assistant as well. Both later died from gangrene, and a spectator reportedly dropped dead from fright, making it the only known operation with a 300% mortality rate. -"It just makes me so angry. HE SHOULD LIKE ME!" -Addie -"YOURE GOING BACK-ASS-WARDS" -William -"You're not even in the deep end right now Addie. You're in the ocean!" -Will -"There's this pool made of plastic balls" -Julie -"I thought he was supposed to come and get me and spank me like a bad boy does lol" -Addie -"Oh, I'm linking him that quote as well, that was gold!" -Spencer -"I should be shitting pudding but instead I shit these turds that rip my asshole!" -Headphones -"I need to hang up, blow this mattress up, and Will will message me as I am blowing uo this mattress" -Addie -"We might even need to make a new tire" -Julie -"MAKE? Julie, the tiresmith" -Gio -"They giggle, they gag, they make educated guesses" -William -"The things you've said could fill up the u not cookin book 10 times over" -Will to Addie -"u not cookin book......cookbook........U NOT COOKBOOK!!!!!!!!" -Gio -"It gos get harder to do it with multiple guys at once" -Julie -"Gio, you've just been promoted to gurrrrll status" -Will -"You can talk about waifus and I can talk about.....husbandus" -Julie -"I need to get more mounts that gallop in the air" -Headphones -"GIO HIT ME WITH YOUR D" -Headphones -"How much gold do I get? OHHHHHHH! 20 GOLD!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!! Only 9000 more. It's like getting minimum wage" -Gio in Heroes of the Storm -"NO ONE BLANS BITZ ON FIRST PICK LIKE THAT" -Will -"Train traffic jam" -Spencer -"Kai Harambe" -Matt -"EVEN LUNA KNOWS" -Spencer -"Mohito cicada. Poke it like its dead" -Spencer -"The marine offspec will come" -Matt and Spencer -"Ordering food from places and whatnot" -Matt -"Undertale: A Really Emotional Pokemon Game" -Julie -"We had to sit through the suck to get to this" -Will -"I have the same feeling every time I hear a human die!" -Will -"I'VE KILLED LIKE 200 PLAINSTRIDERS AND STILL ONLY HAVE 5/6 HOOVES. CAN'T I JUST USE MY DAGGER AND CHOP OFF ITS HOOF? I DON'T WANT YOUR MEAT, I WANT YOUR FEET" -David -"I got this feeling in my pocket..." -Luna singing -"You mean body?" -Gio -"No Johnny, it's pocket!" -Luna -"DICKS OUT FOR TYRANDE" -Headphones -"Gio, you are so racist against Protoss" -Will -"Do Protoss even breathe?" -Headphones -"And you called me racist" -Gio -"Julie: Top Secret Gardener" -Gio -"TIL William's pocket is a warzone blender" -Gio -"Like, I literally went inside Subaru.....wow......Subarar" -Will -"I was gonna buy Rosetta Stone but you have to purchase it" -Addie -"That's like me saying I was gonna unzip that .rar file, but I have to buy WinRAR first" -Gio -"The Illidari Subway" -Headphones -"If its usable then whats the difference if its fake or not?" -Matt -"You've clearly never been to China" -Gio -"We live in a world where lemon juice is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons" -DominickCosta from Reddit -"If you don't eat it now it's gonna get flappy" -Luna -"YES, this whole movie would make a GRATE! show....Geart....GEAT!....FUCK IT!!!!" -Will -"It's like someone was fucking the camera holder" -Headphones -"You mean Lakitu?" -Gio -"HE WAS FUCKING LAKITU" -All Chat -"No I'm blinking out of the hell" -Will -"Has the brains to do 10 mill dps, stands in the fire. Mages." -Gio -"3, 2, 1, POP!" -Gio -"OW MY LEG!" -Will -"I meant your leg pop, not the queue pop" -Gio -"EXTERNAL BRAIN SOUL SUCKED BUTCHERED SHARK CORPSE" -Gio -Die to Tyrande, 10 shots -"Give me 30 or 1 hr" -Will -"30 hours!" -Gio -RESTO PALLY -"Where did that come from? How did a PUG turn into Full House?" -Will to Matt -"HOW ARE YOU FUCKING BATMAN? -Headphones to Matt in Minecraft -"OH MY GOD THIS COW'S FACE" -Headphones -"HEADPHONES IT'S LIKE YOU'RE MOOZIE, THAT FUCKING ESCORT TAUREN IN THUNDERTOTEM!" -Gio -"I'm not drunk enough to not raid" -Feral -"RPG players don't sleep, they just /sleep" -Gio -"How long does a body have to be underground for it to be considered archaeology and not grave robbery" -"In the Pokemon world, I would be selling bootleg bicycles and Headphones would be selling bootleg lube" -Gio -"I only do it in short bursts" -Julie -"I wish I had a large chest...I mean in real life" -Julie -"Okay I'll leave the rest of these pigs up...I think there's one pig left" -Will -"Vantablack is the new Mercury. It was like Mercury, it's good for you!" -William -"Had to explain deez nutz in Chinese to Luna. 5 MINUTE EXPLANATION!" -Gio -"So I just went in the sandwich..." -Gio -"Crunchy gravy dicks" -"EVEN LEFT GREEN RIGHT" -Feral -"If it mooed, oinked, or bocked at me, I killed it" -Will -"I stopped and I.....thunk.....yes I'm using thunk..." -Will -"That shit's too good, we need that shit in our shit" -William -"n a c i o, chlorine, its one word" -Feral -"We had some issues with the last boss. Low dps, and I started drinking..." -Feral -"If a women has starch masks on her body does that mean she has been pargnet before.?" -Yahoo Answers -"All we gotta go is replace words with shots and we're good to go" -Will -"Woah, wall of text" -Will -"What happened?" -Headphones -"I asked Addie how her day was" -Will -"Tit turd got roasted" -Isiah -"Now that's a sandwich!" -Aunt Sue -"That just looks disgusting" -Aunt Betsy -"Sapped girls can't say no" -"oh....OH.....OHHHHHHHHHH...OHHHHH my gosh you guys, that's so scandalous" -Julie -"I come up like dry bones though" -Will -"OH....MY.....LADY GAGA" -Luna -"Looks like Im gonna get exalted with them first" -Will -"Looks like your mom's gonna get exalted first"-Gio -"WITH DEEZ NUTZ, GOTTEM!" -Will -"I had a nightmare about apple juice" -Headphones -"Thats a first" -Gio and Will -"I must not have been trying hard enough to make you mentally challenged" -Headphones -"If you don't have a taste of smell..." -Will -"This show is stupid, how is she flying?" -Gio -"You don't know? All ancient people could fly." -Luna -"So when did Spencer become nice again?" -Addie -"Pshhhhh he's always been an asshole" -Will and Gio -"I think this is the weirdest shopping list I've ever written: Shotglasses and pie" -Gio